A Little Bit Of Coffee...And A Whole Lotta' Jesus

Last night I sat bleary eyed on the living room couch, my husband next to me holding our wailing toddler.  This midnight rendezvous was certainly not what I had in mind when I put the kids to bed at 8 pm and soon followed myself.  But yet, here we found ourselves at three different points last night between 10:30 and midnight. Our franticness went something like this:

(Insert baby screaming)
"Is it an ear infection?  He's tugging his ears!  It has GOT to be another ear infection.  Quick, grab the garlic oil and the lavender!
(Minutes pass...)
"Oh babe, he's rubbing his belly.  It must be his belly.  Put some of the Digestzen on his belly.  No?Not your belly Levi? Baby, what is wrong?" 
(Screaming escalates...)
"Ohhh, he's hungry!  Yeah that's it... gotta' be it..."
(As I begin to fumble through our cabinets and refrigerator searching for something quick to shove at the little couch tyrant...)

Sometime after midnight we finally sunk it to bed.  I laid there for what seemed like hours just listening for the faint sounds of Levi's stirring that might send us right back to the couch begging for answers. 

At some point I realized as I was lying in bed that I was so tense that my fists were clenched into tight, little balls. As I lay there trying to relax, trying to breathe out the tension and allow myself to sleep, I began to pray, "PLEASE Lord, please. Give us answers.  Heal my baby.  Help me to know what to do for him."  I just prayed and prayed and prayed.

So many similar prayers have been echoed from my lips since I began my motherhood journey.  There were the days and nights after bringing Mackenzie home to our teeny Chicago apartment.  I remember her as a ticking time bomb.  You never knew when she was going to sleep or for how long.  I prayed deliriously for answers then.  There were the years of feeling helpless when we didn't know how to help heal her little body from the food that was causing her so much pain.  And those months after Levi was born where I fought so hard through the pain of feeding him and I prayed and prayed that God would make a way for me to feed my baby the way I so desired to feed him. Then there was last winter when he had ear infection after ear infection and he just cried every single day for hours. 

So much of my motherhood journey has been filled with questions and unknowns and exasperated middle of the night teary prayers.

I find it no coincidence that last night as I was at my lowest point I came across this instagram post from Gina Zeidler and the timing was just so dead on that I felt like I had to share:

"Hardest part of motherhood.  The uncertainties. The millions of could it be this?  Or this?  Or that?  I know in my head that I have a God in heaven that is certain and doesn't change, but on days where I am completely sleep deprived and am fighting not to just fall into a puddle.  I get so mad and just upset at my failure.  My body and heart want to run to being hard.  I find it hard to see or hear JESUS.  Tonight off to the doctors office to rule out some more what ifs and trying to praise God for even the smallest of wins. , even though I feel like the ripped up paper on this table.  Lord use this brokenness.  Help me be ok with these hard days.  Help melt my heart of stone into your arms.  I just can't do it on my own.  I often hesitate at sharing hard things because I am afraid that I'll be judged or people will think I am not capable.  But the truth is I am human.  Made to need a savior.  I just need to proclaim that no matter how life looks on social media...alone I am not enough.  I don't have it all together.  I physically, emotionally, spiritually cannot do anything of any good without Him.  Trying to burn these impossible days into my mind as road signs signaling to where I need to fill up my tank.  The only place it can truly be filled.  Every hour I need thee.  Lord help me see this as such a blessing not a failure. No problem I have is too big for you."

Can I get an Amen?  Thank you Gina for such beautiful honesty and for sharing your heart.  Such a great testament to how our words can bring light for others in the darkest of places, which is what I'm pretty sure Gina and I were both feeling last night.

My friend Kristin recently encouraged me by sharing that the blessing of parenting is not always that it is easy or enjoyable.  The blessing is in that it makes us more holy, more like Christ. 

All the exasperated midnight prayers-- they've drawn me closer to Him.  They've made me rely on Him.

That anger I hashed out as I walked through 18 months of postpartum depression--that anger was healed by HIM.

Those tears I cried in the months after losing our second baby-- those tears are what drew me to Him and to His word and to His promises for my life and my little family's future. 

I love deeper since giving birth to my babies. 

I have experienced more joy than I ever imagined possible since becoming a momma. 

I am daily seeking peace and healing of my hurts and wounds because I know that they directly affect my kids. 

Man, Have I ever learned to be more patient since having kids.  It's a fruit they are always helping me to prune and grow.  While I'm impatient and inconvenienced by the woman in front of me at the grocery store, so are they.  But it is my job to teach my kids what it means to be patient.  And so, I learn too.

I'm not perfect, I'm not always kind.  But I pray that I can be an example to my children of what kindness and faithfulness to others and to my own self looks like.  Because its the example from me that they are going to take out into the world and live out in their own lives. 

To have self control.  It's a practice I preach daily but don't always get right.  I scold my kids for not having enough of it.  Meanwhile, I'm learning with them what it means to have it. 

The blessing in parenting is in that it makes us more holy, more like Christ. 

While I'm incredibly grateful for friends who have "been there" and for books and websites that help me to navigate all of the unknowns of parenting-- I just might be more thankful for the moments on my momma journey where I'm just completely and utterly lost.  When I'm at my wits end and I'm left to surrender.  Because it is in those moments that I really turn to Jesus--that I let Him be my portion and my strength.  A strength that I know is the most sustainable.

Our Gluten Free Kid Of The Week: Kaylee

The Harms family were some of our first friends when we moved from Denver to Chicago so when we discovered Mackenzie's gluten allergy we immediately turned to them for support.  This week I'm so excited to introduce:

 

Little Mountain Momma's

 Gluten Free Kid Of The Week
 

 

Kaylee, 4 years old

Describe Kaylee in three words- Energetic, Feels Deeply, Inquisitive

How did you discover Kaylee needed to go gluten free?

            Her dad, Phil, has celiac and has been GF since 2007. When Kaylee first started eating solids, we kept her diet gluten free. As time went on (and baby #2 arrived) we started introducing gluten to see what would happen. At first we didn’t notice any significant changes. Then 2013 began (Kaylee was 2 ½ at this point). We battled cold after stomach bug after cold after cold after stomach bug. Within 6 months, Kaylee was sick around 11 times, resulting in a hospital stay for dehydration. At one point she was put on amoxicillin for an ear infection. Within an hour of the first dose, she broke out in hives that covered about 80% of her body. To counter-act the amoxicillin, she was put on steroids, which we discovered she is also allergic to. During these 6 months we also thought Kaylee had juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. Her joints were in such excruciating pain that she refused to move and when lifted or carried, she would scream in pain. We took Kaylee off gluten and within just a few weeks, she was a new, happy, energetic toddler!! Kaylee’s symptoms range from mouth sores to joint pain to GI issues and intestinal cramping. Her younger sister, Teagan, is also gluten free and in addition to the symptoms above, also develops eczema.

 

What are the biggest challenges you find in having Kaylee be gluten free?

            Since our house has been mostly gluten free since 2007, eating at home is easy! The part that I struggle with is parties, especially birthday parties. I either prepare and bring food, including GF cupcakes or treats. I try to always have some kind of GF snack with me, which means being prepared with groceries and food and having the foreknowledge to have them with me.

How do you explain what “gluten free” means to your kiddo?

            I explain that gluten will make them very sick and remind them how they will feel. I tell Kaylee, and Teagan, they are allergic to things with gluten. It makes it easier that daddy is gluten free and that I have several food allergies that I cannot eat.

Do you have a favorite recipe you would be willing to share with other gluten free families?

            We’re thankful for gluten free pasta. I don’t love giving the girls “white” (rice) pasta regularly (its really about as “healthy” for you as regular white pasta), there are other options like quinoa, non-gmo corn pasta, and brown rice pasta. My girls love chicken noodle soup, quesadillas, grilled cheese. I make GlutenFree Goddess’ Sweet Potato and Turkey Enchiladas often.

Does your family have a favorite restaurant or bakery that is gf or offers gluten free options?

            Chick-fil-a is probably our favorite place! We love Pizza Doodle here in Denver. They have a dedicated gluten-free oven and a huge play room for the kids. Chipotle, Qdoba, Garbonzo, Noodles & Company and on rare occasions Rodizio Grill (Brazilian BBQ). We eat Mexican food quite frequently. Most Thai restaurants offer a gluten free option now as well; just ask them if they have GF options and if they look at you like they don’t know what you’re talking about, find a different place.

Do you have any tips for parents who are embarking on a gluten free diet for their child/children?

            It can seem overwhelming at first, but have a positive attitude. Try using positive language and talking about all the food that CAN be eaten instead of things that can’t. Read labels! Gluten-containing ingredients can be hidden in long lists of (mostly questionable) ingredients. Better yet, eat foods as close to their natural state as possible. Meat, veggies, fruit – all gluten free (do be careful with marinades and sauces).

Do you have any favorite resources (websites, books, magazines etc...) that you can share to help another parent along this journey?

            I love the Gluten Free Goddess. When we first went GF with my husband Phil, I got a year subscription to Living Without’s Gluten Free and More.  It has super helpful ideas for flour blends and substitutions as well as support and encouragement for what to do at school, while traveling, at camp, etc.

If you would like your child to be featured as an upcoming highlighted gluten free child of the week, please email to inspiregfkids@gmail.com. Check back soon to meet next week's gluten free kid of the week Jack!

 

More Than A Sunrise

 

I've always been a girl with vision.  I dream something up, whether big or small, right down to every last detail of the way it should look or go.  And while, this isn't necessarily a bad thing... the problem is that this is real life and real life has a way of sending your ideals crashing down around you. 

 

My momma is probably smiling as she reads this, because she knows I'm that kind of girl.  She recalled to me recently a story about 4-year-old Brittany who had a meltdown at a baby shower because I was convinced a baby shower was suppose to be a party where everyone gave the new baby a bath.  Imagine my surprise when I showed up to a shower where the baby wasn't even born!

 

I think this is why becoming a momma was so hard for me.  For anyone who is a parent, you know that you have these dreams and visions of what parenting is going to be like from the start. From the way your pregnancy will go right down to your birth plan.  And well, kids just have a knack for blowing our plans right out of the water. 

 

Take Levi's birth for example:  After a C-section with Mackenzie, I had planned a natural birth.  I had it all typed out and I even signed and left a place for my midwife to sign.  I laugh about this now.  Boy, I didn't know what I was in for.  After 40 hours of active labor and two full nights of no sleep my midwife had to gently let me down.  There was no way I was delivering my son without an epidural.  I was going to be stuck in that bed, lying flat on my back, eating ice chips and hooked up to a catheter.  And, a gigantic ugly cry ensued.

 

I write all this because I still have so much to learn. I hold so tightly to these dreams and these visions of mine that I think should go and look perfectly and when they don't go as planned I feel deflated.  Sometimes I get downright angry.

 

Last night my husband and I packed all of our things and placed them by the door.  We had blankets and coats for each of the kids, lawn chairs we put in the car.  Our plan was to drive to the mountains and watch the sunrise.  I had this idyllic vision of what the morning was going to look like.  We would stop for coffee along the way, make it to the mountains just before sunrise and then hike to the top and plant ourselves in those two lawn chairs, each of us holding a snuggly kid, just in time to watch the sun burst over the city.  It was going to be glorious. 

 

But instead, one of us grumbled about being low on gas and the other got grumpy about running out of time and before we knew it, the sun was sending light over the horizon and we were snapping back and forth at each other and I was thinking, "No. No. No. This is not the perfect family morning I had envisioned!" 

 

At one point through tears I wailed, "I can't blog about this!  No one wants to know that we fought all the way to the mountains and that our perfect morning wasn't so perfect!" 

 

To which Jeremy then looked at me and said, "Brittany.  Yes, you can.  People want to read about the real stuff.  They want honesty."

 

And that made me laugh.  Because that's exactly why I  began blogging in the first place.  I wanted to write to other mommas to be a breath of fresh air.  So they would know it was okay to have these imperfect moments.  So that they could relax a little bit and let the messiness of life take over and guide them throughout motherhood.  Sometimes birth plans go awry and some days you'll fight with your husband over a silly thing like not filling up the gas tank.  Most days your sink will be piled high with dishes and inevitably your grocery store trip will entail some sort of toddler meltdown.

And well, that's life.

 

 

As a momma, I want my Mackenzie and Levi to grow up dreaming BIG dreams, taking lots of risks and watching dozens of sunrises. As they grow, I know that they are watching me to see how I react when my own visions and dreams don't go as planned.  And I hope and pray more than anything they are learning that sometimes messiness can be absolutely beautiful.  That often times mistakes lead to breakthrough and growth.  I hope they will learn to show themselves and others grace. 

 

I hope that they will know that life isn't about perfection. 

Sometimes its about stopping halfway up the mountain instead of making it to the top. 

Sometimes it's more important to hug and make up and say, "I'm sorry" than it was about creating that picture perfect moment to begin with.  Sometimes its about teaching your babies to embrace the messy and just enjoy the ride with all of the highs and lows that life brings.

 

The Gluten Escape

One thing I've tried very hard to do since having babies is to invite my kids into my normal daily activities.  This has in part been a selfish effort of mine to somehow avoid sitting on the floor and making Paris Hilton look-alike Barbies talk all day.  But really, can you blame me?

 

More than anything though, I've felt very early on that, if my daughter is pulling on my pant legs begging me to play with her, and I'm in the middle of cooking dinner, then why not ask her to help make dinner instead?  It can become a special time where I teach her to crack eggs and measure out the cinnamon.  It can be an experience that allows her to beam with pride when her daddy walks in and she can say, "Daddy!  Look what mommy and I made you."  I could spend my days annoyed with my children because of their never ending attempts for my attention and then stressing about all that I didn't get done for the day.  Or I could spend my days inviting them to help me and learn from me and experience life with me.

 

After Mackenzie was diagnosed with a gluten allergy, I found this approach to parenting even more important.  Learning to cook gluten free foods was a special way that Mackenzie could learn to own her allergy-- and she has!   At a recent parent teacher conference Mack's kindergarten teacher remarked to us that she is, "Pleasingly surprised at how Mack is the only child in the class to really own her allergy.  She knows what she can and can not have and unlike the other kids, she doesn't ask for treats that she knows she can't have."  Man, this made a momma's heart so incredibly proud.

 

With all of that said, one of the ways I want to continue to help Mackenzie (and Levi) own their gluten allergy is to visit local restaurants and bakeries in our area to try new foods, rate them "thumbs up" or "thumbs down" and then bring some special treats home for later.  I plan to blog about each of these adventures as a way to hopefully be a resource for other parents in the Denver area who are looking for allergy friendly places to eat out.

 

Our first trip to a local gluten free (and partially dairy/nut free) bakery was this past week.  As a family we visited The Gluten Escape in the Denver Tech Center.  If you are a Denver local you'll likely know this area.

 

Here's the scoop on The Gluten Escape:

 

 

Located at 4403 South Tamarac Parkway, Denver, Suite 103

The outside atmosphere of this little bakery was just so-so.  Located in a small strip mall, it wasn't exactly quaint or charming like a little downtown bakery would be.  But we were more interested in the food than what the parking lot looked like.

 

Once inside we heard lots of "oohs and ahhs" from Mackenzie.  There was a row of cupcakes to choose from with flavors like Vanilla Champaign, Chocolate Chocolate & Red Velvet.

 

There were brownies with sprinkles, brownies with powdered sugar and my husband's choice favorite-- the Black Forest brownie. 

There were many types of cookies as well as pumpkin scones & muffins. 

 

This bakery was certainly not lacking in quantity of goodies, that's for sure!  There was a stand filled with freshly baked bread (all their food is made in house) as well as a cake cooler.  Many of the desserts were also dairy free and were marked special by a little orange sticker.

You can check out a more detailed menu here.

 

 

 

Here she is trying her Powdered Sugar Brownie.

 

 

 

Then she went and stole a bite of my Red Velvet Cupcake-- this was a gluten & dairy free cupcake and you would have never had a clue!

 

 

Little man woke from his slumber just in time to try a Snicker Doodle Cookie...which we all agreed was amazing.

 

We left for home with a blueberry muffin for the next day's breakfast as well as with a freshly made ball of pizza dough for our Friday pizza night (the pizza dough was under $5.00 so we considered this a big score)!

 

Thanks Gluten Escape for a wonderful first experience!  It won't be our last visit!

Gluten Free Kids

One of my goals for this year was too add more "fun" stuff to the blog.  While I love writing pieces to and for mommas, our little family has a lot more going on than I usually get a chance to write about. One being that both our kids are gluten free. As a parent of "g free" kids, I can say two things honestly:

1. I knew positively nothing about gluten, what it was or how harmful it could be before our pediatrician said the word.

2. Nearly, three years since removing gluten from our kid's diet, I still find myself wanting to pull my hair out some days because of the complications it causes.

But this is meant to be a fun post!  Ideally what I would like this to become is a resource for other moms (and dad's) to turn to for encouragement and support as they also seek a gluten free life for their kiddos.  Each week I plan to highlight a gluten free kid and post an interview with or about that child and his/her parent as a way to remind readers that they aren't alone-- there are many, many kids out there with an allergy (or allergies).  Sometimes it's important to remind them of how special they are and that their allergy doesn't have to be a bad thing-- it makes them part of who they are. 

So without any further babbling on my end... I started with one of my absolute favorites.

 

Little Mountain Momma's

 Gluten Free Kid Of The Week

 

 

Mackenzie, 5 Years Old

 

If you had to describe Mackenzie in three words what would they be?

Mackenzie is joyful, passionate & fierce.

How was it discovered that Mackenzie needed to be gluten free?

Mackenzie has had digestion issues since she was a newborn and it has only gotten worse as she as grown.  My husband and I can remember her as a baby, being out in public, and the screams, thrashing and wailing that would take place in public when she needed to "go".  To a perfect stranger you would have thought we were torturing her.  To put it mildly, it was awful.  We often remark to one another that these are the things you are never ever told you might have thrown your way as a parent.  Sleep issues?  Sure.  Nursing problems?  Of course.  But never did we read a thing about a baby who might scream uncontrollably every time she needed to use the bathroom.  This one wasn't even on our radar. 

Throughout her first three years pediatricians suggested lots of things to resolve. Add some water to her bottle. "Try giving her prunes."  "Maybe it's a dairy allergy?  Put her on soy." "No, don't try soy...that can be harmful to kids."  "Try a light laxative." "Laxative causing the opposite problem?  Let's send her to a specialist."  "Try no dairy again." Good grief.  This all went on until right around the age of potty training.  And then, as a parent, I'm sure you can imagine that everything just got worse.  While Mackenzie had mastered the potty for peeing, she was scared and refused to go the latter.  She would usually go on average 1x a week and when she did go, she would hide from us and go in her underwear.  And then we would find our sad and ashamed girl trying to clean her underwear out by herself in the bathroom.  At the age of three. It was just way too much. 

And then one day her doctor finally mentioned gluten.  We left the doctor's office that day feeling even more overwhelmed and not knowing where to begin. But that was the day that we finally got an answer.  We went home and started reading labels.  Dumping entire boxes of cereal and dry goods.  We made multiple trips to whole foods and our local fruit market and our grocery budget was blown out of the water that week.  But within 48 hours our girl was using the bathroom without pain.  No bleeding, no screaming.  She was even going in the middle of the night without her knowing.  She'll kill me for mentioning that (or any of this), but I have to mention it because her little body was finally regulating itself.  It was finally healing. And to us, this was a huge answer to prayer. 

How do you explain what being "gluten free" means to Mackenzie?

Mackenzie was old enough when we removed gluten from her diet that she remembers how bad gluten made her feel and how good it made her feel when she stopped eating it.  I think this has been a real key to her understanding her allergy and to her embracing it for herself.  We've had many conversations with Mackenzie to explain to her that some kid's bodies just work a little differently and that this is nothing to be sad or ashamed of.  We remind her that foods with gluten made her tummy hurt and made it hard to go potty and we try to be as encouraging as possible at all times.

What has been the most challenging part of integrating a gluten free diet into your child's life?

 I would say the biggest challenge for us continues to be going out to eat as a family.  Many restaurants we use to love are off limits and even the ones who do offer a gluten free menu don't offer much.  Usually the only thing our kids (yes, Levi is gf too...a post about him later), can eat is grilled chicken skewers or a cheeseburger and fries sans bun.  It can be pretty disappointing.

Does your family have a favorite gluten free restaurant or bakery that you would like to share? 

Our absolute favorite Denver area restaurant for a gluten free option is Snooze A.M. Eatery (check out their site for other US locations).  Snooze has, hands down the best breakfast/brunch food we've ever tried (and we lived in Chicago, so that's saying a lot).  We LOVE Snooze because most of their menu options can be made gluten free for a very small extra charge.  Mackenzie loves to get the flight of pancakes (usually chocolate chip pancakes & the pineapple upside down pancakes).  And of course, our "go to" fast food option is Chick-fil-A because the kids love their grilled chicken nuggets and fries. For burgers we love Larkburger.  Kid's eat free on Mondays with an adult meal purchase (a gluten free bun is $1, so it isn't completely free).  The burgers are to die for. 

Can you share a favorite gluten free recipe that your family makes at home?
One of our favorite gluten free recipes is The Gluten Free Goddess Chicken Enchiladas.  I have never included the artichoke hearts and I usually use less spice because it is otherwise too hot for kids but we love this meal and it is a family favorite!
 

What tips would you share for a parent who is embarking on a gluten free diet for his/her child/children?

First of all, your kid can have lots of meats, fruits & veggies and dairy (if he or she is not also dairy free).  So don't be discouraged-- it's actually a healthier way to eat and in time, finding meals and food options does get easier and less overwhelming.  Second, the very best thing I think you can do for your child is put a positive perspective on it.  If we as parents have a negative attitude so will our children.  And I don't know about you, but the last thing I want is for my kids to grow up feeling like something is "wrong" with them simply because they can't eat the same foods as their friends. 

Do you have any favorite resources (websites, books, magazines etc...) that you can share to help another parent along this journey?

YES! One of our very favorite books is called The Gluten Glitch written by Stasie John.

 

 

 

The Gluten Glitch (click the link to order your own copy) is an excellent resource to teach about his/her allergy and to encourage kids who are gluten free to embrace it and know they aren't alone. For any parents who are looking for a great book to read to their gluten free child (or any other allergy), this book is a must!

 

If you would like your child to be highlighted as our gluten free kid of the week please email to: inspiregfkids@gmail.com

 

Visit back next week to meet gluten free kiddo Kaylee!

Where Is the Love

Two things I desire more than anything to teach my babies as they grow,  are to stay true to themselves and to stand firm in their knowledge of God's love for them. 

 

Over the past week I've realized just how far I still have to walk in my own path of learning to stand firm in these truths.

 

So I question, how can I as a momma teach my children to love who they are, to let go of what others think of them and to really rest in God's love, when I myself am clearly struggling with all of these?

 

I don't watch much television, but when I do, I've noticed a common theme of watching as a way to distract or numb.  I watch television to take away from the hard stuff in my day.  To take my mind off of playing Barbies for hours on end or to make little stuffed animals talk. I watch when the kids go to bed to forget the toughest parts of being a momma and sometimes because I just want to feel like an adult.

 

But I don't want to do this anymore.  I don't want to just drown out parts of my day. I want to live more intentionally and to invest in my kid's lives and in the lives of my friends and family.  So we canceled our television service. I made a commitment to love more, to live more deeply and to invest my time more significantly.  But I wasn't quite prepared for what I learned this week.

 

What I saw this week in myself is that social media plays a huge role in how I view my self worth.  When I didn't have the television to turn to or to play in the background and to tune out the Barbie voices, I immediately turned to my phone.  I had to see who had posted most recently and who had "liked" or commented on my photos.

 

I would love to sit here and say that I don't have an issue with self worth and that I'm completely comfortable in my own skin. I would love to say that I'm not looking for validation from friends (or even perfect strangers for that matter).  But good grief, have I realized this week how untrue that is.  So much of my heart is for transparency among mommas, and if I'm being completely honest, I have a long ways to go in loving myself and in looking beyond the approval of others.  I have a long way to go in resting solely in God's satisfaction and love for me. 

 

A few nights ago I prayed that God would help me to see how deep rooted these insecurities are and how I can overcome them.  I don't want to be a slave to the approval of others.  I want to rest secure in who I am and not in what other's opinions of me are.  I want to want God's best for me and I'm pretty sure that His best isn't signing on to instagram several times an hour to see who has "liked" my photos or read my most recent blog post. 

 

@Shaychocran (shameless plug to follow this momma on instagram) wrote this--

"You know all those images you just scrolled through in your feed?" That vacation you wish you were on... that house you wish you lived in...Those followers you wish were yours...That outfit you wish you could afford... That talent you wish you wish you had...That family that looks so happy...Those friends you wish were yours...I know we don't think about it that way, while we are flipping through instagram, double clicking away, but those seeds of discontent get sown almost unrecognizably in my heart and I know I'm not the only one.  Guard your heart sisters.  I love instagram but contentment and joy are NOT going to be found here. If anything, any joy we felt for a moment gets very quickly robbed in the minutes spent casually catching up on the day in instagram.  God loves you so much and wants to give you true lasting joy and satisfaction. The kind that you won't find here...or anywhere else.  So if your heart is full of angst, or sadness or loneliness or insecurity or just low level discontentment, do yourself a favor and put your phone down.  Joy CAN be yours.  Just go to the source. 'Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever will drink of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again.' John 4:13-14"

 

Can I get an, "Amen"?  This woman speaks truth.

 

I read this post tonight and it was like an answer to my prayer.  First off, a validation that I'm certainly not alone in my insecurities (because lets face it-- often times we convince ourselves that we are the only ones on planet momma to struggle with (x) (y) or (z)...)

 

And secondly, Shay Chocran's post was a swift kick in the pants to give me a solution for exactly what I needed to do to help kick this insecurity of mine to the curb.

 

So, at the risk of sounding super cliché, I'm giving up instagram for a week (or maybe more).  Just to get some sensibility back and to remind myself of what's most important.  To spend more time engaging my kids and looking to the Lord for where my value and self worth lies. 

 

Because these two are so worth it.  Because the way I view myself is going to shape them more than I realize.  Because how much I depend on others for my value and self worth is going to fill them deep and it's going to make them go searching for their value in all the wrong places. 

 

Because I want their God sized void to be filled with God and not the fillings of what the world will tell them is important.

 

So I think I'll go learn now for the three of us.

 

 

So, if you've made it this far, I promise I'll be back soon.  I'll be back to post more photos of my babies and to share more of the real and the honest moments of motherhood.  But for this week at least, I'll be on the floor making dinosaurs roar.  I'll be playing lots of candy land and princess monopoly.  And during nap times I'll be resting myself and seeking God's heart how He sees me first and foremost--  not from the "likes" of my instagram followers ;)

Baker Family Top 14 for 2014

Merry Christmas & Happy New Years from the Baker Family!

In honor of the New Year we thought we would highlight some of our top memories of 2014 and share them with you.

 

1. We got a puppy!

And then we sent her back. I may never live that one down.  Miya joined our family this past spring and stayed through August.  We loved having her but we quickly realized that, in a small house with dad gone all day, Miya was more like the 3^rd child we weren’t ready to have.  So, since we couldn’t understandably get rid of either of our human children, Miya is now just a frequent dog sitting guest.  It’s safe to say the only other family member as thrilled about this decision was Belmont ;)

2. Jeremy received a mountain bike for his birthday! Biking has become a new hobby he loves and it’s allowed him to get out and into the mountains with friends.

 

 

3.   We spent lots of time as a family exploring Colorado.  Family trips to Vail (which has become our favorite town for weekend getaways), hiking, swimming in the mountain hot springs and so on… Colorado is nothing short of breathtaking and as funny as it is for me to say this—I’ve become more of a mountain girl than a city girl! 

4.     To celebrate our 8^th anniversary Jeremy & I attempted to hike overnight to the top of Mount Evans— unfortunately, we didn’t make it to the top on foot.  We got lost along the way and ended up watching the sunrise from midway up the mountain.  We both agreed that our trek was a fantastic metaphor for marriage.  Often times scary, rocky and easy to lose your way--but the payoff of doing life together is some amazing sun rises and triumphant moments.  We’re looking forward to re attempting this hike in 2015—but in broad daylight this time!

 

5.     Some big career changes went down in our house this year. After 10 years with Starbucks, Jeremy finally burned the green apron strings (literally—we hosted a huge bonfire to celebrate and burned the aprons to a crisp).  In August he went from part time to full time with Cornerstone Christian Counseling and is now seeing a full load of clients.  This has been a huge praise for our family and we couldn’t be more thankful to God for bringing us to this place after such a long awaited dream.  Likewise, I began to work with seniors again after taking a full year off and it has been incredibly refreshing to get back to doing something I am so passionate about. 

6.       Levi got his first taste of the ocean!  Levi and I took a day trip to California and spent part of our time on the beach playing in the sand and sticking our feet in the cold water.

 

        7.  We became soccer parents!  Mackenzie joined a soccer team and we became the crazy fools screaming from the     sidelines.  Never-the-less, she’s a born natural and we will continue to cheer like banshees until she’s old enough to ban us from her games!

 

8. Levi turned 1 & Mackenzie turned 5! We celebrated with a big pirate & princess themed party and we were thrilled to have three sets of grandparents and all of the aunts and uncles fly into town for the big event!

9. Mackenzie started kindergarten and she LOVES it.  Her favorite parts of school are being a social butterfly (mommy’s words) and learning math.

 

 

10. I traveled to San Francisco & Sonoma with a group of girlfriends for a long fall weekend.

 

11.        We did some home renovations! Jeremy’s dad flew out to Colorado and the two of them redid our laundry room. Then we got really brave and tore down the awning off of the back of the house.  Slowly but surely we’re teaching ourselves how to do some renovating and it sure has been nice not to pay for outside work!

12. I was involved in helping to start a taskforce in Denver for the organization Love146 which acts to bring awareness and fight to end human trafficking in our city. I’m excited to continue my involvement this upcoming year.

13. We visited Anderson Farms as a family to pick pumpkins and celebrate fall!

 

1.        We traveled home to the Midwest for Christmas and then celebrated New Years back in Denver!

 

 

So, there you have it.  A highlight reel of our year in a nutshell.  If you’ve followed along this far we would love to share some prayer requests for the upcoming year.

-          We would love prayer for Levi’s health.  He is chronically sick with colds and double ear infections and it makes for a pretty miserable winter.  This went down last year and is the pattern so far for this winter too.  He is scheduled for a tubes consult in January but we’re praying for first and foremost for healing—of Levi’s little body and mommy’s sanity!

-          Prayer for wisdom for Jeremy and he continues to balance his workload and home life.  While his job is a huge blessing it is also time consuming and a heavy commitment and he’s gone long hours of the week.  Pray for rest for him and overall wisdom in how we as a family balance work and life at home.

-          Pray for direction this coming year as we make decisions on if we should keep or sell our home.  We really love our home but we are quickly outgrowing it.  We would love prayer for a clear sign from the Lord on when and if we should sell.  We want to be content in what we’ve been blessed with but we also know that sometimes God opens doors to move on. 

We hope you’ve enjoyed a little peek into our lives.  Please know that you are loved!