Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween friends! I'm not usually one who posts massive amounts of photos of my family but I figured, hey... why not?  This year we attended our first costume themed Halloween Party so we decided to have a little fun.  

Mackenzie wanted to go as a veterinarian (easy enough).  Levi, who wants to do EVERYthing just like his big sister, decided to forgo his Ninja Turtle dreams and be a puppy.  To which we said, "How about an injured puppy?" (To fit with the vet theme).  He was SOLD.  

Now, you would think that a puppy costume would be pretty straightforward.  Amazon prime.  
Bada-bing Bada-boom.  Yeah.... not so much.  Amazon prime failed me this time, guys.  The day before puppy was suppose to arrive in all of it's 2 day shipping glory (let's just forget about about the small detail that I waited until Halloween week to order), I got a notice in my email letting me know that puppy was canceled.  CANCELED.

AMAZON PRIME.  I would break up with you except that I love you way too much.  On Friday, Jeremy and I drove to every Target, Walmart, Party City known to man.  And our final solution?  A kid's Star Wars Chewbaca costume from the neck down and a sad looking puppy hat.  
Oh well, you can't win them all. #momfail


Evie went as a kitty.  She didn't really have much of a choice.  I shove her chubby thighs into anything I dang please.  That's the beauty of pushing a baby out of your hoo-hah.  You get to choose their halloween costumes for the first three years.  Yes?  Her flamingo costume is already hanging in her closest for next year. #momwin

And as for our adult costumes, Jeremy went as a dog catcher and I went as a crazy cat lady.  
It was perrrrfect.  





On Sunday, we braved the 80 degree late October temps for a yearly trip to Anderson Farms.  We continued with our tradition of bribing for photos in the pumpkin patch.  We'll make the trip back again next year for another round of, "SMILE LIKE YOU MEAN IT AND YOU GET TO PICK A PUMPKIN."






This year was also the first year that I had ever heard of Trunk Or Treat.  I've clearly been hiding under a rock for the past 8 years of parenting.  Low and behold, in all of it's Pinterest glory, there are pages and pages dedicated to this idea of decorating your trunk for Halloween.  

I, in true fashion, went a bit overboard.  "Camping in The Pumpkin Patch" was the theme.  I shoved a giant tent into the back of the SUV and we passed out s'mores.  I may have been trying to make up for the failed puppy costume. 





Tonight, for Halloween, we will continue our tradition of Papa Murphy's Jack O Lantern Pizza and trick or treating for the first time in our new neighborhood.  After the kid's go to bed, we will steal all of their Halloween candy and blame it on the  Candy Fairy.  I think it's safe to say that after a week of packing in all of the traditions and festive Halloween activities, this momma needs a week long nap!  Just in time for the Thanksgiving and Christmas Season.
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Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Why Perfect Parenting Is For The Birds

Last week I got a call from my 8-year-old daughter's elementary school principal.  The conversation went something like this:

Principal- "I'm sorry to be calling you but we uhhh...had an incident today at school.  I have M here in the office with me.  She's here because a boy in her class poured paint on her boots.  Then she ...well... she... she kicked him in the private parts."

Me- "SHE DID WHAT!?"

Today, as I arrived to my son's preschool for pickup (already late I must add), his teachers asked me to step into his classroom.  My heart immediately sunk.

"We need to talk.  Is something going on at home?  We're concerned about L.  He keeps falling asleep in class.  He seems very out of it.  He can't seem to follow simple instructions without his eyes glazing over.  Is everything okay?"

Me- "FOR THE LOVE."

In all seriousness, here's what I wanted to say:

"NO.  No. No. No.  Everything is NOT okay.  My oldest is kicking classmates in the MANLY PARTS.  My middle little has become the preschool narcoleptic.  The baby doesn't sleep at all.  But, don't worry... SHE'S not falling asleep with her face in the dog food bowl.  Which, by the way is her favorite place to be...eating the dog food, that is.

Last week while nursing the baby, I pulled a piece of scrap metal out of her mouth.  Yes, metal.  I have a laundry pile so large that it could rival one of Colorado's 14ers.  We don't even bother to fold clothes anymore.  My second grader goes to school daily with two different socks on because who even has time for matching socks???

Guys.  I don't even know anymore.  I'm frazzled.  I'm exhausted.  I look it.  I feel it.  I spend much of my nights lying in bed between feedings wondering just how many hours of therapy all of my mistakes and missteps as a parent are going to take to "fix" my kids.

Today at the playground after school, as I was wracking my brain for answers to all of life's hardest "mom questions"... it dawned on me: Never before have I needed Jesus like I do as a parent.  Never have I been so humbled and so aware of my dysfunction.  I've always been a wreck.  It's just taking these daily parenting shenanigans for me to see just how much of a wreck I truly am.

So today,  I sat plopped down on the cement sidewalk of the playground while my baby attempted to shovel handfuls of leaves and wood chips into her mouth.   As I sat there, head hanging and heart low,  I realized something.  Perfect parenting is for the birds.  I found myself waving the figurative white flag of defeat.

Or was it a flag of victory?

You see, maybe coming to this place of surrender truly is a "mom win".

No amount of hustling or striving for perfectionism as a parent is ever going to "fix" my children.  

It's not a matter of IF my kids are going to need therapy.  It's just a matter of if they will choose to go. My children are going to grow up with baggage and dysfunction and probably a bit of a trauma.

You want to know why?

Because my kids are sinners.  Because my husband and I... we are sinners.  Because we come from a very long line of sinners.  We are broken big people trying to raise broken tiny people.  

And every day that I still don't get this parenting thing "right", I get to point my kids to Jesus.  I get to ask for forgiveness.  I get to plead for grace and mercy and wisdom.  All of which are things that I probably wouldn't be asking for if I didn't have tiny humans looking at me to make all of their huge life decisions.

It is exhausting and scary and many days I feel so overwhelmed that I wonder if today is the day I end up in the psych ward of our local mental hospital.

But maybe, just maybe, this is exactly the place that the Lord desires for us to be.  Maybe, it is here in this place of humble parenting, head hanging and arms raised in total surrender of our understanding and will, that God does his holiest and best heart work.
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